Pre-Warnings

Usually we get pre-warnings of incoming missiles. I have a love/hate relationship with pre-warnings. They used to reliably be about ten minutes before we got a siren. Lately (looking at you, Iran) they have been about 3-4 minutes before, if they come at all (looking at you, Hezbollah in Lebanon. Too close to have advanced warning). We've also had a LOT of pre-warnings without having an actual siren lately. Like over Shabbat we had eight pre-warnings and only 1 siren (not that I'm complaining).

Except am I going to complain a little. The sound the Homefront Command app makes for a pre-alert is LOUD. Like CRAZY LOUD (even if your phone is on silent #MeAllTheTime). And unbelievably startling. One moment you're just on your phone playing Wordle (hi, Anne) and the next your phone is doing an Amber Alert along with a machine gun rattle added in. Imagine that eight times a day.....Some people (umm, maybe even me) have been known (only once. Maybe twice) to even toss their phone in the air because they get so startled at the sound of the hatra'a pre-alert (usually, I just go "AAAAHHH" which, if people around me aren't stressed enough, usually gets them up to speed).

(Ha--ironically, we just got a pre-alert as I'm writing this [can't make this stuff up. Did not turn into a siren for us]) If you'd like to hear what a pre-alert sounds like, watch this BBC clip: https://www.bbc.com/news/videos/cx2lg4y96kpo and WOW, how calm does that guy stay?! Inspirational!!! (although I don't hear the machine gun rattle at the end of his pre-alert, I'm tired of scrolling and listening to pre-alerts on video to find the "perfect" one to share)

as I was writing this post....🙄

We've all been sleeping with our phones either off or on airplane mode so as not to get the pre-alerts (we hear the siren just fine from our house and have plenty of time to get to the mamad in our house). If I get up in the middle of the night and have trouble falling back asleep, I've gone old school and am reading a book (Henry James's "The Golden Bowl", which, at least from the first 100 pages, is neither boring enough to immediately put me back to sleep nor great enough to make me happy to pick it up. Recommendations for the "most sleep-inducing book you can think of" happily acccepted).

Commentator Yael Levontin wrote it better than I ever could in a recent Facebook post:

Okay, Home Front Command פיקוד העורף

We need to talk.

Specifically about the phone sirens.

What did we agree on? The rockets are stressful enough. The news is stressful enough. Life is stressful enough. Why is my phone screaming like it just saw a ghost?

That sound doesn’t “alert” me. It launches my soul out of my body. I age three years every time it goes off. I’m pretty sure I can pinpoint the exact siren that turned half my hair gray.

Could we maybe workshop a new tone? Something a little less “impending doom” and a little more “gentle nudge to not stand near windows”? A polite Israeli voice saying, “Hi motek, just a quick heads up…” Maybe some soft background music? A harp? A spa vibe?

I understand the urgency. I respect the urgency. I do not, however, need my nervous system to leave the chat every single time.

I fully appreciate the protection. Truly. Five stars for safety. Think: same protection, slightly less cardiac event.

Respectfully submitted by someone who would like to survive both the rockets and the notifications

Todah rabah.