Thursday, August 27, 2015

Shalom Shachne's Guide to Buying a Folding Table

Post by SS:

How to buy a folding table in Israel:
1. Go to largest home goods store you can find.
2. Fail to find the table in the section you expect it to be in.
3. Ask sales person for help. Sales person says to wait a minute because they need to check above the top of the store.
4. Wait while sales person continues to work as if you are not there any more.
5. Walk around store trying to attract attention of the store owner.
6. Store owner asks which size table you need, large or small.
7. You say, large. He says he doesn't have it. You say whatever size he has you'll take.
8. He says he doesn't have any folding tables.
9. You say "why are you asking me what size table I want if you don't have any?"
10. He says they don't sell many at this time of year, but if I want to come back closer to Rosh HaShanah, they will have them.
11. He kindly offers to go up and check what he has anyway, but makes it sound so difficult that you have pity on him, and say not to do it.
12. You ask if there is another store in the area which sells folding tables.
13. He says there must be, but he doesn't know which one.
14. You find the other store with G-d's help, and they also have to ascend to some obscure moldy attic to get it.
15. But you do emerge with a table in the end.
The above took place in Hebrew, which you would have to hear in person to fully appreciate the humor of the situation.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.